Why can't we change the dance.

I had a very drunken argument with a friend on Friday night, although I’m not sure if friend is the right word for us (our relationship is thoroughly screwed up, always has been and probably always will be). Now I can’t remember much of this argument, snippets here and there, but nursing my head Saturday morning I realized that we had just done the “dance” again.

Now why we argue, I haven’t got a clue but I can tell you when we argue – after copious amounts of alcohol.

So now I am at that stage (again) where I avoid the person and probably will for a good few months, until we get back to that comfortable stage before we argue again.

Why do I do it? I really don't know except for the fact that I think I'm just really screwed up!

Footnote

It was suggested to me that I was projecting my anger and hurt at finding out another good friend was back in town and I didn't know about - this is very possible as I was drunk and incredibly hurt and finding this out.

This of course then got me to thinking - what if every time I have had an argument with my friend (and they are the only person I seem to argue with) is because I am projecting!

Well then I was feeling incredibly awful and suddenly realised I was an absolutely horrible shitty friend and quite frankly would blame the person if they never spoke to me again.

And then I thought maybe I do it because I know they WILL speak to me again.

Hence, it is time to stop this vicious cycle and be nice cause they deserve it and I'm lucky to have them as a friend.