I think I have to change

because I think I am starting to hate myself and there comes a point where you cannot get away with any of it.

I'm turning into one of those sad middle aged freaks that still think they can prance around like they are 21 desperate to get some kind of recognition that they've still got it, when in actual fact they lost it long ago.

I think my problem stems from the fact that MOST of my friends are younger than me and hence can still get away with it.

I need to find some maturity and quite frankly, although I am scared, enter the next phase of adulthood which sees me as a responsible member of society who choses to leisurely sip wine at a cafe and discuss important issues like current affairs with one's nose in the air.

(my sentances are long - tough luck!)

It is time for me to cast aside those drunken ways in favour for a boring life making sandwiches, doing laundry and reading the Australian which my cappuchino and poached eggs.

I don't think I can do it - I think I'm going to turn 40 and still be trying to justify why I haven't grown up!

I need to grow up! but I wasted so much of my youth either being afraid or celebant or a freak or obsessed with some idiot here and there who couldn't care less about me.

I didn't spend enough time having fun and now I find that I'm too old to have the fun and I can here the mutters of "who does she think she is? so 20 year old!"

**cringes**

Geez louise I want my youth back!!!!