Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

I received the following story from my work buddie and just had to pass it on as I thought it was rather humerous.

The tandem story
>
> Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
> offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:
>
> The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a
> new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person
> will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right.
> As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a
> short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send
> another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then
> add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending
> another copy to me.
>
> The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on
> back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in
> order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking
> outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in
> the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been
> reached."
>
> The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:
> Rebecca and Gary.
>
> THE STORY:
> (first paragraph by Rebecca)
>
> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
> chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
> now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times,
> that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep
> her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she
> thought about him so much her asthma started acting up again. So
> chamomile was out of the question.
>
> (second paragraph by Gary)
>
> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
> now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about
> than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with
> whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to
> Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar
> orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he
> could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and
> blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct
> hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
> one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
> had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
> pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
> "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
> Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
> excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her
> youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no
> newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of
> innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one
> lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
>
> (Gary )
>
> Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
> Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched
> the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy
> peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty
> through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the
> hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race.
> Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships
> were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
> entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their
> diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere
> unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine>
> headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
> inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
> writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
>
> (Gary)
>
> Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic
> whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh,
> shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING
> TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads
> too many Danielle Steele novels!"
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> Asshole.
>
> (Gary)
>
> Bitch
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!
>
> (Gary)
>
> Go drink some tea - W.H.OR.E..
>
> (TEACHER)
>
> A+ - I really liked this one.
>
>